Face Yourself

            Self-esteem, by definition, is how people evaluate themselves. Its synonyms include self-worth, self-regard, self-confidence, and pride. (Baumeister, 2005)

Having high self-esteem is good. People with high self-esteem may indeed have accurate perceptions of their many “fine” qualities, and knowing these “fine” qualities (either specific or abstract) in a way could result to happiness. It feels good to think that you are a good person, right?  Moreover, another benefit of it is initiative – people with high self-esteem, because they are sure of themselves, are more likely than others to act on their self beliefs and impulses. It is easier for them to make new friends, and promote self to others – and feeling good for doing so. (Baumeister, 2005)

However, when feeling good about themselves becomes a prime directive, for these people excessive defensiveness and self-promotion are likely to follow. Thus, the self-esteem is likely to be fragile rather than secure. Heightened defensiveness reflects insecurity, fragility and less-than-optimal functioning (i.e lashing out at others when one’s beliefs, statements, or values are threatened) rather than a healthy psychological outlook. (Kernis, 2008)

So, “Is high self esteem always good?”

For me, it’s a matter of context. High self-esteem is always good if you are not driven to make yourself superior to others or to prove your value by comparing yourself against other people. Or if your sense of high self-esteem does not arise at other people’s expense (i.e bullying other people because you want to prove yourself). But rather, you find joy from being who you are, not from being better than someone else. Once you start comparing yourself to other people or other things, you are bound to find faults.­ True self esteem can only come from within you, if you are confident in yourself and in what you do, it will be reflected in your work and in how you treat people.

If having high self esteem leads to happiness, I don’t think it’s wrong to have it always. Just stay real. Just be yourself and have enough confidence to show to the world who and what you really are.