To Tag or Untag

Labeling a patient with his 'diagnosed' disorder is apt for physiological illness so that a fitting solution or medication on how to cure him will be given by the doctors (and by those attending his well-being). But when it comes to a person who is psychologically ill, it is not appropriate to tag him with the disorder for the reason that it hinders the treatment process.

In the article published by D.L. Rosenhan On Being Sane in Insane Places, pseudopatients who have been labelled as schizophrenic in a psychiatric assessment can do nothing to overcome the tag. The tag profoundly colors people’s (i.e doctors, nurses, and staff in the psychiatric hospital) perceptions of him. All of his explicit behaviour is explained in terms of his ‘tag’. Even if certain behaviour is stimulated by an external stimulus, it is still usually misattributed to the pseudopatient’s "disorder".

This has been pointed out by Gestalt psychology, demonstrated by Asch in his Warm versus Cold study. Central personality traits (such as “warm” versus “cold”) are very powerful that they strikingly color the meaning of other information in forming an impression of a given personality. For instance, one would perceive more positively Person A who is described as warm, intelligent, and handsome compared to Person B who is described as cold, intelligent, and handsome. Furthermore, when a person is diagnosed as "abnormal", "schizophrenic", or "manic-depressive" (probably all of which are potent central traits), then perhaps all of his actions and characteristics, may be colored by the label.

A psychiatric label has a life of its own. Once the impression has been formed that the patient is schizophrenic, the expectation is that he will continue to be schizophrenic. Thus, it hampers treatment. The diagnosis shape perceptions of the circumstances instead of the circumstances shaping the diagnosis.

In addition, the diagnosis somehow acts as a self-fulfilling prophecy on the part of the patient. Eventually, the patient himself accepts the diagnosis, with all of its superfluous meanings and expectations, and behaves accordingly, which does not aid or facilitate treatment process at all.

Sugarmuffin

Alright, so there's this guy. Well, he is not the typical kind of guy for me. He possesses countless of things that I have not seen in all the guys I've met (and i know that I'll never find another guy like him).


He makes me feel so alive. He makes my heart race that I could frantically hear it thudding in my ears. He's always on my mind, running through my head every second of every day. (I know. It sounds really cheesy and cliche-ish, but that's how it is.) And yes, just the thought of him curves my lips, making me smile like crazy while I'm alone or with a group of companions sitting down or walking on the street. I'm always in the state of euphoria every time we're together. He makes me happy. . . Ugh. It's frustrating, I can't find the right words to describe him and the way he makes me feel for the reason that the aforementioned and the things I'm about to say are just understatements. 


It's like if the world were to end tomorrow, he would be the person I would want to spend my last day with. Perhaps, he is the person I want to grow old with(*attach intense emotion here*). The feeling is too wonderful that in order to understand and know it, you've got to feel it yourself first. For the lack of better words, "I love him with every cell of my body" won't suffice. I mean, I just love him. I really do.


And oh, have I told you that the guy I was talking about happens to be my better half now? Yes. I haven't, right? So, the ulterior message behind or the real purpose why I'm telling you all those silly things is for you to have the 'tiniest' idea how blessed I am to have him in my life.


To conclude this silly note, I'm very proud to share that he wrote a song for me (see below). Did I just say he wrote a song for me? (hahahaha!) Yes, he composed this song for me as we celebrated one of our 'monthsaries' a year ago. If you're wondering who this awesome guy is, he goes by the name Kennan (it's pronounced as keeee-nun, he's very particular on that). And again you may wonder, "What's with the song's title?" Oh well, let's just say that the composer lovingly calls me (his) Sugarmuffin. Awwwwww, isn't he so sweet? :)




Sugarmuffin

The day's starting to come to an end
but I'm still thinking about you and your face
I won't wait for tomorrow to become yesterday
to tell you everything that I need to say
I won't wait for the stars to fall from the sky
to prove to you that I


Refrain
I've fallen hard and will keep on falling
I'll keep on falling for you...


Chorus
Oh, my heart screams, thanking all the heavens
For finding a girl like you, whoa, a girl like you
You're all I've ever wanted, all I've dreamed for
I've tasted your whole soul, you keep me longing for more

My day's starting to become better
you brighten up every stormy morning (whoa, whoa)
Yesterday you were just a friend for me
But today tells a totally different story
My heart's realized you're all its looking for
and I'll prove to you that

Refrain
I've fallen hard and will keep on falling
I'll keep on falling for you...

Chorus
Oh, my heart screams, thanking all the heavens
For finding a girl like you, whoa, a girl like you
You're all I've ever wanted, all I've dreamed for
I've tasted your whole soul, you keep me longing for more

Bridge 1
No one's ever precisely hit my heart before
But you prove to be too good a marksman
And my heart's all yours to keep

Bridge 2
I'm know I'm not perfect but
I'll be the best for you
I know at times we'd have our backs against the wall
But don't you forget
I'll be there to catch you should you fall... Chorus
Oh, my heart screams, thanking all the heavens
For finding a girl like you, whoa, a girl like you
You're all I've ever wanted, all I've dreamed for
I've tasted your whole soul, you keep me longing for more

Chorus
Oh, my heart screams, thanking all the heavens
For finding a girl like you, whoa, a girl like you
You're all I've ever wanted, all I've dreamed for
I've tasted your whole soul, you keep me longing for more

Whoa, oh


-------> This is one helluva cheesy post. I know, right?

Face Yourself

            Self-esteem, by definition, is how people evaluate themselves. Its synonyms include self-worth, self-regard, self-confidence, and pride. (Baumeister, 2005)

Having high self-esteem is good. People with high self-esteem may indeed have accurate perceptions of their many “fine” qualities, and knowing these “fine” qualities (either specific or abstract) in a way could result to happiness. It feels good to think that you are a good person, right?  Moreover, another benefit of it is initiative – people with high self-esteem, because they are sure of themselves, are more likely than others to act on their self beliefs and impulses. It is easier for them to make new friends, and promote self to others – and feeling good for doing so. (Baumeister, 2005)

However, when feeling good about themselves becomes a prime directive, for these people excessive defensiveness and self-promotion are likely to follow. Thus, the self-esteem is likely to be fragile rather than secure. Heightened defensiveness reflects insecurity, fragility and less-than-optimal functioning (i.e lashing out at others when one’s beliefs, statements, or values are threatened) rather than a healthy psychological outlook. (Kernis, 2008)

So, “Is high self esteem always good?”

For me, it’s a matter of context. High self-esteem is always good if you are not driven to make yourself superior to others or to prove your value by comparing yourself against other people. Or if your sense of high self-esteem does not arise at other people’s expense (i.e bullying other people because you want to prove yourself). But rather, you find joy from being who you are, not from being better than someone else. Once you start comparing yourself to other people or other things, you are bound to find faults.­ True self esteem can only come from within you, if you are confident in yourself and in what you do, it will be reflected in your work and in how you treat people.

If having high self esteem leads to happiness, I don’t think it’s wrong to have it always. Just stay real. Just be yourself and have enough confidence to show to the world who and what you really are. 

Happiness: A Journey

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.
          
We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire.

          The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now.  If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.  It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favourite quotes comes from Alfred D Souza. He said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there were always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my "life".

          This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time...and remember that time waits for no one.

          So, stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy.
          Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->P.S.

I did not write this one. I just found this over the internet and I could not help myself but repost this (I edited some parts of it though) because I wanna share its beauty with you all. I could not give necessary credit to the author since he/she was anonymous. So, to whoever wrote this one, I raise my glass to you. :)

Mind Over Matter

What is the relationship between mind and body? People have always debated whether the mind governs the body or the body governs the mind. So which is which? Can their relationship be described as two, separate and distinct units in one entity or what? 

The body, I believe, may be considered as the instrument which carries people through the various stages in the journey of their lives. It is, in effect, similar to an airplane which allows one to go to different places around the world. Inside of the airplane we may think of a pilot who pushes the controls, and steers the plane around – and this is, perhaps, how we may also perceive the mind. However, the relationship between the body and mind is much more than a simple mechanistic relationship within each human. There are also emotional and sensual experiences, and how these are derived from the body and mind 'machine'.

Buddha’s Tantric teachings explained in great detail the relationship between mind and body – a relationship between two distinct entities, which for the duration of a life have become associated with each other but which can also exist separately. Buddha compared the mind to a bird and the body to a nest. Like a bird leaving one nest and flying to another, at death the mind leaves this body and seeks another body (reincarnation). Alternatively, mind and body are like a driver and a car, which affect each other but are obviously not the same entity (same concept as the aforementioned).

Furthermore, the claim of Buddha can also be supported by Rene Descartes’ argument in his book Meditations (1641), which stated that the mind and body are distinct substances. He wrote that humans are spirits, and that their essential attributes are exclusively of the spirit (for example thinking, willing, and conceiving). The human spirit (which we can refer to as the ‘mind’) occupies a mechanical body, made up of extended substance or matter. Attributes like sense perception, movement and appetite are of the body and not the spirit, so they do not comprise human essence. 

Buddha and Rene Descartes somehow agree on the notion that the mind and body are two distinct entities. Alfred Adler on the other hand illustrated the interaction of the mind and body.

Adler stated that the central principle of the mind is to foresee the direction of movement. Since it is the mind's role to decide a direction towards which movement is to be made, it occupies the governing position in life. At the same time, the body influences the mind because it is the body which must be moved. The mind can move the body only in accordance with the possibilities which the body possesses and those which it can be trained to develop. For instance, if the mind suggests moving the body to the moon, it will fail because the body has limitations as to the extent of what it can do (unless it discovers a technique suited to the body's limitations to realize the intention).

Therefore, the body and the mind are two separate and distinct entities that interact with each other. The mind governs the body and the body influences the mind. 

Paradox

Cheers!
To lonely smiles and hollow laughter;
To dried tears and wasted anger;
To lost hopes and deep regrets;
To broken dreams and promises never kept.

Oh cheers!
To love that never dies and dreams that refuse to perish.

Scar

You came to me one night
As if a Greek go under the moonlight.
Like a mortal thief, you stole a kiss from my ethereal lips
Not knowing that you’d still my soul and wrap it around your fingertips.

Reminiscence of those moments make my heart bleed.
The scars of yesterday brings ache to each heartbeat.
I don’t know why i can’t get you out of my head,
No matter how much I try to bury the past and forget about it.

At some point of my existence, when I feel weak and vulnerable,
Your memory keeps on haunting me.
And it is during these moments that I struggle the most,
To vanquish the ghosts and demons inside me.

I fight with all the courage, will and passion above
That’s left in my heart to survive in this game called love
So that when the same darkness befalls me again,
I will be victorious in the end.